Riding off into the sunset – bickering about shoeing all the way!
Oct 28 2009
“I’ve spent years trying to find someone who would be as interested in horses as me, now that I’ve found him, it seems like the only time we don’t fight is when we’re not around or discussing the horses!
-I want my horse to have shelter available in the paddock during wet weather; he says they’re absolutely fine.
-I think his barbed wire fencing is dangerous; he says I’m overprotective (and of course, nothing has happened yet)
-He will not saddle a horse without picking hooves & brushing thoroughly; my “brushing” is running my hand on my horse’s back & under his belly to make sure no mud will be trapped by the saddle (I’ve become better about routine hoof picking though)
-When we go out to play w/ the horses he feeds pockets of treats just because; I want my horse to earn a cookie, not associate my hand with food
-I want to ride every single night AND hit the trails Sat & Sun; he’s happy with 1 or 2 rides a week tops
We disagree about everything from what/when to feed & how often to change the water trough to what bit to use & how to hold the reins. I realize how lucky I really am as most of my friends’ sig. others just aren’t that into the horsey thing & we simply adore each others’ horses. Anyone else have any stories like this? Hopefully ones with happy endings… 
”
I think this is so true! All horsepeople dream of finding a partner who will share their passion (and therefore not bitch so much about the costs involved), but when we find him or her, invariably a power struggle takes place over whose horse care beliefs are correct. I admit I’ve bickered with guys over deworming, fencing, shoeing or lack thereof, wrapping legs, how to drive the trailer, feeding, supplementation, saddle fit, bits, and don’t even get me started on the slaughter issue (that one usually winds up at “we probably shouldn’t talk about this.”) At least in my own life, it usually shakes out that I get my own way but I have to do all the work and pay for all the extra expense associated with “doing it right” as I define it. Oh, and I do all the trailer driving…sorry but most of you guys corner way too fast to suit me!
(Pic at left from a very good article written by the formerly non-horsey hubby - Married With Horses)
So two questions today:
1. If you have a horsey or semi-horsey SO, what do you guys bicker about with regard to riding and horse care? Have you found a way to compromise? What did each of you have to cave on, or did one of you just decide to give up and let the other make the horsey rules? Do you have a real “opposites attract” situation like you’re a dressage queen married to a guy who rodeos? Does your pasture and tack room look like they have multiple personalities because your tastes in horses are so different?
2. Are you part of a training couple, running a business together? How does that work? Have you had major disagreements over training philosophy, or have you found your perfect soulmate in life and horses? Or have you broken it down where one person makes the riding/care decisions and the other is the business person/manager? Do you compete against each other and if so, how do you keep that from being a source of conflict?
3. If you have a funny story about someone who claimed to be horsey to try to get you and so wasn’t, feel free to share! Those are usually hysterical.
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My husband was not horsey when he met me but he now has his own horse that he loves dearly. He is constantly amazed at the cost of things like saddles and supplements. We argue about it but I usually win *wink*.
I was into horses when I met my hubby, he is a military AND car AND computer geek type, former military and HUGE car nut…
When we dated he would hear me talk till his eyes glazed. We were serious about each other and got married, I had gotten this lovely mare from an auction and he knew I needed a car, he helped find the right home for her and a good car to boot.
We moved to the Midwest, with my dogs and birds… 6 months later I was working at a boarding stable, leasing a horse.. one year after that I had bought a Belgian draft horse an an estate sale, I hid the news for a while, but then got a job as a carriage driver, he started to come out with our dogs and spend time with the big gallute!!
I moved him to a great boarding stable and I got him to ride a few times on the belgian, but then I had to find him a home, since the horse fell in love with my friend and my hubby wasn’t riding at that time.
We did a halloween show, and he was in costume and did an AWESOME job!!
Fast forward to a few years ago, I found a great KY mtn mare for him, SHE chose HIM. she is his baby!! He has been interested in horses use in the military, and the history of their use in the worlds’ military’s.
He does defer to me for feed and care, but he does his own grooming and he can haul and feed as needed too!!
He does only ride about half the year, as the winter and early spring are a bit too cold for him. But he does come out to visit during the cold months though!!. He pampers her and she has her own color scheme for her blankets and tack!!
He is a great rider too, a natural!
Oh man…
So, back when I was single, I used to ride a lot because at the time I worked on at a private rescue and volunteered with a barn that had a riding for children with disabilities program.
I met this guy (off-site) who said he loved horses, and knew all about them. We’d discuss proper riding techniques, feeding, the tribulations of attempting to pick the feet of a stallion who was convinced your back pockets were full of cookies (NOT!!! my horse) and blessedly, his opinions were usually much the same as mine on the topic.
We “sort of” dated for awhile, he never really struck me as marriage material, but we had our fun. Some time later I met my current fiancee and for awhile we all had to live together (yay economy!). Fortunately we all got along just fine.
However… Guy #1 was dead set on “winning me back” from my fiancee. Mind you, my current SO is terrified of horses. truly and completely scared witless of them. which is… terribly sad for me.
But, I love him anyway (and it’s better than fighting about horse care all the time! haha!). Anyhoo, guy #1 decides the best way to win me back is to prove what an excellent horse person he is. Mind you, I’d never seen him ride, but he was the wranglers, cowboy boots & hat, southern drawl type, but he did have an excellent education.
Well one weekend day, I’m making dinner and the front door opens. I look up to see him, muddy from head to toe, smelling like he was giving horses enemas all day, and limping in the most pathetic, over exaggerated limp I have ever seen.
“What happened to YOU?” I ask.
He then launched into this tale about how he was at his buddy’s ranch, where he had a year and a half old colt, completely green, NO work whatsoever in halter, elt alone under saddle. So brilliant guy #1 decided it was high time to break that young stallion!
What did he do, do you think? He hopped onto the fence, and jumped onto it’s back. No halter. No bridle. No blanket. No saddle. No bareback stirrups. Nothing. Just plop! Right onto it’s back. Then started kicking it’s sides to “teach it to go”.
Needless to say, the horse flipped completely off it’s nut, and after a brief exciting ride clinging onto the horse for dear life, the horse bucked him off into the mud and kicked him before it ran off across the pasture.
“But,” he said in conclusion, “now he knows what it’s like to take a rider. We’ll have an easier time next weekend.”
Come to find out, that was his FIRST time EVER on a horse since going on a pony ride as a kid. He’d lived his whole life in the city, aspiring to be a cowboy one day, and learning his southern drawl from country music. No wonder he agreed with everything i had to say about horse care! I would rather my terrified-of-horses-SO than THAT guy ANY day of the year!
I wasn’t looking for a horseguy. I was looking for a guy with a pickup truck for hay. 8 years ago I got one. He proudly says we are horse people but really I am a horse girl and he claims to own one of our horses. I don’t bother to tell him that he doesn’t really know how to ride and that there might be a medical emergency if he tried. He just thinks he is too busy to ride and that he will get around to it one day. I am fine with that. I can’t really afford for more than one of us to really be into it. I might have to pay for dressage lessons for both of us. I don’t think he even knows we don’t own a saddle appropriate for him. I am not telling him. I am happy as long as he does not interfere with my horsegirl intentions. He feeds when I work late and pays the vet bill. He moves hay around and fixes fences. I take similar care of his teenage sons. It works. If he ever decides to pursue riding we might have problems.
Spoiled, spoiled, spoiled here. Happily married for 20+ years. We both ride, play club polo on the same team whenever possible. Even luckier now that our kids are playing. In the years we have been playing we have teamed up to make all our own polo mounts. Wouldn’t trade him for the world. No bickering-he usually does all the feeding in the morning and I do it at night. The only thing he is squeamish about is giving vaccinations, so I do those.
My SO had never been around horses until we got property. Then he was the one to start subtly pushing for us to get a horse. At the time we couldn’t afford it and I kept telling him no. Then we saw an advertisement from the RSPCA about a few abandoned horses and we discussed getting 2 horses seriously. None of the horses there were suitable, but he was more disappointed than I was and I’m the ‘horsey’ one!
Eventually, 2 rescues came up from another place and I made the decisions, went and saw them and said yes please, I’ll take them. He was sort of peripheral to the decision, but he didn’t say no.
Now we’ve got 2 mares and they’ve been here for almost 3 weeks. They’ve not been ridden yet, but he defers to me in just about everything, including basic care and feeding. He asks questions I wouldn’t even of thought of and he’s the strong back for all the hard work, picking up poo included! I’ve been fairly lucky that he defers to me, it means we haven’t argued about anything yet.
That said, I fully expect things to change when I start teaching our children to ride (later on, our eldest is only 3) and teaching him also.
I have been involved w/horses since I was 9. I have been teaching for over 25 yrs (Darn, figuring that out makes me feels so old LOL). I’ve managed barns w/up to 40 horses. I’ve been married to my husband for 15 yrs. He has no interest in horses or for owning pets either. I had 3 cats when I married him.
I had horses before I got married, none when I did get married, and acquired one 2 yrs after getting married. My horse was boarded, I was a free lance instructor and my husband had nothing to do w/the horse at all. He had no interest in learning to ride and did not come to my horse related activities. And that was fine w/me. We each had our own interests, and what we did together was for us.
In 2002 I got hired to manage a boarding facility w/11 horses on the property. Which swelled to 30 horses w/in a few months. W/in 1 year I was hosting horse trials, dressage and schooling shows. We lived on site, and I promised my husband I would not ask him to do anything on the farm, which is what he wanted.
We were at that place for 5 yrs. W/in 1 year, he was doing the night barn walk, toping of water buckets and giving more hay if needed. He singlehandedly made the cross country course ready for our annual horse trials. He could hitch up my horse trailer in a jiffy. He did all the mowing. He even was the announcer at one of the shows, when my regular volunteer ended up in the emergency.
He never showed any interest in riding or getting closer to any of the horses. But I never noticed how much he had absorbed anyways until the day he walked out in the field to help me ‘herd’ a boarder’s horse that would not catch.
We stayed at that place for close to 5 yrs. He was one of my best helpers. LOL
Over the years, he has, unfortunately, learned to really dislike most horse people. He has seen me hurt/disappointed by too many of them.
Horses will always be my business and passion. They will never be his. And that’s OK. We love and support each other.
We do still argue about the expenses though LOL.
My fiance tried to get into horses, but he kind of got stuck in the Beginner stage. First, it was because he needed his own horse. Check. Then he needed a different saddle. Okay, check. Then boots. Got it. And then…. Five or six trail rides a year… I meanwhile go through about three or four pair of boots in the time it takes him to get a scuff on his, and I don’t get cheap boots.
The worst part (or best?) is that the horse we got for him is hands-down the most incredible horse ever. Retired endurance racer with a heart of gold. Amazing movement, seen-it-all, no spook, totally cool horse that can be a real beginner’s mount or a top level competitor raging ahead, totally dependent on his rider and their comfort zone.
So now I ride his horse and myn, but I still drag him down to the barn whenever I can for short, easy trail rides. I don’t know if he’ll ever get totally confident in the saddle (who would only riding few and far between?), but at least he still tries for me.
Additionally, he has learned well about the day-to-day care of the horses, and even helps me in trimming their hooves, etc. Because of our schedules, he feeds twice a day and I am really only able to go down to the barn 2-3 times a week. He helped me buy a trailer and I spend our cash on my horsie day trips. He’s always supportive of my passion, and understands that even though he doesn’t share it, he can at least facilitate it. I think that I’m pretty lucky!
My favorite “trying to get with a horsey girl” story comes from my college roommate. She went out a couple times with a guy who was a bouncer at a bar we frequented. She was instructing a colt-starting class at the local community college, and he’d try to act cowboy and say “if any of those colts are giving you trouble, I could come over and buck them out for you.”.. BIG eyeroll here. After a couple weeks, she started getting tired of him, so the next time he called and asked what she’d done that day she said “Oh, I was out helping teach the equine reproduction course, we were palpating mares…” He started getting disgusted and said “well, you don’t really put your hand up there, do you?” Being that it was November-ish, she said, “It’s not so bad, good way to stay warm on a cold day.” He got totally grossed out, made an excuse to get off the phone, and never called again!
TBDancer says:
October 28, 2009 at 11:27 am
My luck with finding a suitable husband has been between zip and zero, so the horse part never figured into it much anywhere, if at all. Most of the men I’ve known have been money freaks — if they can’t make money with it, from it, or out of it, they aren’t interested. I explained it to one guy, knowing this would be our last date, that the only people to make money from horses bought it cheap on Friday night after feeding time and sold it for more on Saturday morning before breakfast.
Sounds like the folks (KB) who own the Enumclaw auction. I doubt he’ll have a lot of pallbearers.
To them, the ENJOYMENT of horses was a foreign concept — how could anyone enjoy something that didn’t show a monetary return on the investment? The men I met got enjoyment (and profit) from boats, ski-doos, cars — man “stuff” they could sell for at least what they paid for it, if not a bit more. They weren’t interested in sharing the horse thing with me, even to approving of my doing what made me happy.
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As a rare male who participates in the riding world and who has thoroughly enjoys riding my OTTB over the last bazillion years, it’s about control for the majority of non-horsey men of my generation. Most those men don’t want something they can’t shut off when the riding gets rough. If it doesn’t come with a throttle, a wheel, a brake, and a key, they aren’t terribly interested. Translation: They can’t deal with anything they can’t control or predict the outcome. It’s really that simple.
I spend my riding time around DQ’s who seem to suffer a lack of interaction with their horses. It’s a means to a (selfish) end. All they care about is riding, then toss the horse in a stall for another 24 hours. I’ve yet to see any of these riders pat or graze their $50,000+ Warmbloods. It’s possible to own a nice horse and still personally care for it.
As a horse crazy guy, and some what of a horse nut (since my childhood days of Walter Farley’s books), I’ve seen/rode/interacted with my steed everyday for the last 14 years.
This is such a great topic! My SO has no interst in horse, tried valiantly when we first started dating but it was obvious he was scared out of his mind. So I do my thing, he does his thing. Worked well for years. Not a problem, until I decided to buy another horse. Discussed with him: Me: “honey, I’d like to get another horse” Him: “sure, I couldn’t possibly see you less” which I took as a green light! So, the search began, and within weeks the whining began…UGH! But, he knows his place (horses/cats/shoes/him) and I compromised by retiring my other horse so I had only one horse to ride at a time, which is fine with both me and the ‘other’ horse! I bought a redhead Thoroughbred mare, vet check on Monday, we’ll see how it goes from here. He can stay or go, I love him to pieces, but love the critters more!
I guess I will put myself in the LUCKY category. My husband is “horsey”, we agree on the major stuff and go our separate ways on the rest. He is very understanding when I end up with a “rescue”, in fact he has rescued a few from the sale barn himself. We pretty much split the chores, and have very similar training techniques – which I find helpful…horses do better with consistency. He prefers to ride at home, down the roads on the trails. I like to go to fun shows, open shows – but enjoy a trail ride as well. We are pretty laid back riders (OLD is the other word for that) preferring to enjoy them, rather than “work” them. We don’t fight about costs, either. Probably because neither of us are over the top spenders.
BUT…I have to agree with you Cathy, the trailering…I prefer to drive…..he corners too fast and stops too quick for my tastes…..I think the horses get a much better ride if either my daughter or I drive!
Humorous stories…..
All of my 3 kids had riding lessons and know how to ride well. My youngest son figured out pretty quickly, teenage girls were impressed with this talent. The old gray mare gave more than a couple double rides while he was in HS. Now that he has graduated, the girls aren’t quite so impressed and he is looking for a new hook.
My daughter used to bring her “boyfriends” out to ride. Most weren’t smart enough to know they couldn’t fake it well. One, placed on the brokest old reining mare we owned, told her confidently he was good enough to “run’em”. It was really a set up, because this mare got quite prancy out in the open – she liked to go – but she wouldn’t actually “go” until told. Instead, she would canter in place and toss her head. If you were a competent rider, you had no trouble…but she knew if you weren’t. Out the 2 go, she yells “yah”, her horse takes off, and the one he is on starts the show, because, well, he never said go. She said all she heard was a pitiful cry, “Hey, come back, I need HELP!!” After they traded horses, he fessed up, and they didn’t end up going for that run after all. She was more impressed with another guy who owned up, he didn’t know what the heck he was doing. On the way up the drive, the horse he was on, picked up a nice slow lope(pleasure trained). He grabbed the horn for dear life, but started waving with the other hand yelling, “yeeeeehaawww……ride’em cowboy”……..see guys a little good sportsmanship goes a long way.
my own dear hubby jumped right into the horse world, learned to ride and has a better seat than me! i did watch a young man attempt to win my very “horsey” youngest daughter. he swaggered and bragged about riding his mom’s big black stallion, how much riding he did and how many horses they had raised. i guess he had ridden a fair amount when younger, and yes, he had ridden the big slow, plodding quarter horse stallion they owned. but that didn’t prep hm for my daughter’s little 14.2 morgan mare! at 22 years young, she was retired from reining, but so hot, hot, hot and didn’t put up with any crap from a rider. signals to her better mean what you want cause she would react! he was forwarned, and went around the round pen a couple of times before he got a little too comfy and careless. she gave a little twist and tiny (seriously, rear hooves maybe 3 inches off the ground) buck and our fellow was suddenly sitting in the sand. none of us showed any manners and laughed loud and hard. he mumbled excuses but we ribbed him with no mercy about beng tossed from an old mare and how he had better stick to quieter horses, you know, like big, black stallions. daughter hopped on the old lady and showed him how to ride, but he never got on any of our little morgans again. kinda hated to see that one go, the dumb ones are so much fun.
My DH and I are highschool sweethearts.. however back then I really didn’t care about guys. He was so head over heels for me that he would go riding with me just to be with me. Luckily we had 2 horses and one was great for beginniners. I can honestly say we dated on horseback! I lived in the So California mountains so it was all trail riding and some really spectacular views of the valley. We even rode double a couple of times which at that point was the closest we came to each other! It is so funny to look back on how much we “grew” and learned about each other while riding. It was probably close to year before he officially “asked me out”! We were 16. We are each others one and only’s (I will admit the horses probably saw some stuff they wish they hadn’t :O) and have been together for 18 years and married for 11 with 3 beautiful daughters. My old man (My 31 yr old horse) is the only one that has had my heart longer (and my DH KNOWS that!)
He is not really a horse person and HATES my horses ……when it comes to hay stacking or moving time.. I mean he CURSES my horses – the hotter it is (Texas), the nastier things he says! Then again if anything were to happen to them, he would probably call the vet faster than I would! Our horses are retired (also have a 28 yr old Arab that was never really ridden) and are just expensive pasture ornaments. THAT is our biggest fight.. the COST of them aging, vet bills, the blood work to support the Cushings and IR diagnosis’s. The meds, supplements, cost of feed, having to over engineer me something to soak beet pulp and ODTB cubes etc… My horses are incredibly healthy except for the Cushings and IR which is totally manageable.. no arthritis, I trim myself etc.. so alot of other peoples costs are not impacting us.. he does not get that.
He supports the horses, we bought our property to have them with us, we adopted one to have a companion, we even fostered for a while (had to euth her and it about KILLED our family)… so I KNOW I am lucky as hell. Whether the girls will ever get a kids horses and get to trail ride, trailer to shows, have lessons etc.. I don’t know… I sort of doubt it but we will see. For now I am just trying to keep costs down as much as I can – these are the fights I need to avoid!
Anyone else dated by horseback?
Kristin in DFW area
A friend of mine has a sticker on her tack locker…..
A woman only needs two animals in her life:
The horse of her dreams, and the jackass to pay for it
I want that sticker… LOL
My Hubby and I both had horse experience prior to meeting and marrying. I wasn’t looking for a horse guy, and was pleased to discover he knows his way around horses. His background is H/J/Dressage, mine is Western/Halter/Trail, so we’ve got our bases covered. We have learned much from each other in the last 20+ years. He is a stickler for conformation, while I have had a focus on type, so I have learned from him to look at conformation when I’m looking at a horse, while he has learned from me the importance of breed type. If we both like a horse (great conformation and breed type), we know it’s a keeper. Of course we both like friendly horses with personality.
We’re a bit different as trainers, he likes a horse to challenge him so he can correct it (I know a few trainers like this). I like a cooperative horse that does whatever I want intuitively so I don’t have to work too hard. My intuitive horses get a bit annoyed with his need to “make” them do things. On the other hand, he likes taking on the horses that like to challenge you, which annoy the heck out of me. So I guess we complement each other that way.
He usually likes to drive, but with the trailer he prefers if I drive, especially if there’s backing involved. Years ago I had him practice backing the trailer in a big open area just so he could do it if he had to, but he really would rather I do it, which suits me just fine. When he does drive the trailer he is considerate of the horses, no complaints there.
One disadvantage to letting hubby park the trailer, if there is a fire-ant hill around, he will position the hitch directly over it. So when we go to reconnect I’ll be standing next to the hitch giving him directions while he drives, and next thing I know I’ve go fire ants crawling up my legs. Hmmm…when it’s just me, I’m able to hook up without assistance. But if we’re both there, somehow he’s driving and I’m giving directions. Very interesting!
Fortunately he is educated about horses so I don’t have to convince him if there is a need to spend $ on something. If we need equipment or a medical procedure he knows what it is and why we need it without any need for discussion. I just say this horse needs this, and we do it. Or sometimes he tells me a horse needs something and we do it. I suppose a non-horsey hubby would ask why you can’t buy the cheap hay or why you have to keep buying shots or wormers or blankets, or paying for horsey pedicures. It is nice to be married to someone who knows about horse care.
About the gay guy thing, this brings to mind a friend I used to show with years ago. Her husband had left her for a well-known trainer (a guy). We would occasionally show with this guy, and even showed at least once under him as judge. He was always very normal and cordial toward her, and she figured he must not know who she was and that it was her marriage he had helped destroy. He was still with her Ex through all of this time.
The good news for her: A few years later she met and married another fellow who is a very nice man and an excellent horseman, and apparently firmly straight. So far. (Let’s keep our fingers crossed on that one).
Interesting comment about horsemen getting mobbed by women. My husband got a lot of that before we married. He has told me a few funny stories about women he met at shows and barns in those years. Apparently most of those women were…”not suitable,” shall we say? Of course there were also guys who made it clear they were interested in him, which he found a bit strange and somewhat disturbing. No, he wasn’t interested, thank you very much!
My computer-programming-dnd-playing-swing-dancing guy somewhere along the line has hopped on a horse or two for a trail ride but my wide-smile and bright eyes when I recall the “crazy” (his word, I call them awesome and adorable) ponies when I rode hunters have made him seriously wary. Next time he’s up visiting my family I mean to take him up to my old camp where I’ve known those horses for years (this is one of those good camp when the horses are happy, healthy and very well kept with excellent manners.) I know exactly the nice, tall, steadfast gelding to put him on. My guy’s on the more stocky-tall side so he can’t exactly fit my usual 13-14hh ponies.
He came up to visit me this summer as I was working a younger(7 or
mare (I would call her a rusty green, not quite all there but knows enough to get through a low level dressage test, she just was lazy and would make it clear when she thought she was done.) As I was moving some things in the ring I had him hold her. I’d been working on her ground manners for two months by now so I didn’t think she’d try to take off his hand or something. I turn around and he’s giving her “a talk” like she’s a disobedient child. She was an angel that day (now if only he was there before every ride.)
He says maybe one day we’ll get a pony for me but I know I’ll probably have to take the next 5+ years off from serious riding to finish my BA and my MA, maybe to start my PhD. He’s not so sure about the time commitment needed but he at least acknowledges that I would need a great deal time weekly to care for and ride even if I board (I refuse to be a hands-off boarder, especially after working for a boarding facility in middle school and high school.) It all depends on where we end up in the country. Right now where we are in Texas there really aren’t any facilities for my English “habit”, even the university riding association has only one English saddle and I wouldn’t go near it. Now if we moved back East (for me at least, he hasn’t lived anywhere east of the Mississippi since he was 3) that’s another story. The college loans aren’t helping the horse cause either, tuition keeps rising; I’m no where near finished, and it’s not like anyone in museums makes a great deal of money.
Like PoloPonies I am lucky lucky!
Nothing better than having a horsey man who understands that sometimes you need that that new saddle blanket/bridle/rug not because the old one is worn out but just because.
My OH does not ride as much as I would like but we have an unspoken agreement that as long as his horse is fed, shod and ready to go when he does want to ride he doesn’t winge about the feed bill (to much).
The main thing we have argued about is selling gear. If one of our 4 kids out grows a saddle he thinks we should sell it – I can see the next child needing it in 2-3 years and would rather store it.
Similarly we are arguing atm about a little mare I have – she is 14′2hh, sweet as they come and will be perfect for our daughter in 2 years, plus she is great to teach my son and other pupils on. He thinks I should move her on and then find one once Miss is ready but luckily I have enough paddocks that I can shift her around in and not attract attention
The main problem we have developing is that we now have 4 keen Trail Riders in the family with 2 more coming up.
Looks like we will have to buy a truck soon!
When I met my current boyfriend of almost two years, he told me about 50 times (before we were together) how he loves country music and rode horses when he was little. I was impressed, especially since he said he wanted to get back in to them. Well, about two weeks in to our dating, I turn on country (Tim Mcgraw) on the radio. He immediately yells “ugh! This music sucks, I hate country!”
Haha yep, he finally admitted to lying, he was trying to impress me =). Yet I knew he was a keeper when, again two weeks in to our relationship, we went out to the barn only to find my new “waterproof” blanket had completely soaked through, and my horse freezing. He promptly declared that we had to go to the local tack shop and buy my horse a new blanket. I was in shock. He dragged me there, and insisted on paying half of a $200 Pessoa blanket. Yeah, he insisted on buying only the best for my horse! And we were only in high school, so not exactly rich.
While he doesn’t want to take riding lessons or buy his own horse, he just looooves my Arab Jaytee, treats him like a child. He buys him birthday/Christmas gifts, dotes on him and loves to hear me talk about him. He buys me bridles for my Birthday, and refuses to feed my horse anything other than costly Ms. Pasture’s cookies. He hates that I won’t buy Jaytee expensive grain.
Yeah….this one’s a keeper!
myponyskeeper…..that’s funny.
When my husband and I married in our early forties, he had no idea I even liked horses! We’d met because of Airedale terriers, and I relocated to Ocala, FL, after we became involved. So, here I was — closet horse-crazy-teen in a 42 yr old body, living outside the self-proclaimed Horse Capital of the World – horses were all around me.
I’d shoved my girlhood horse-crazies far into the back of my mind – I believed I could never realize that particular dream, wo why spend the effort dreaming it? Well.. it was only a matter of time. Hubby did some computer work for a nieghbor with horses, and the neighbor asked if I might like to ride. My husband tells me I became just like a little girl, when he passed this query on to me…
Well, one thing led to another. Lessons. Free lease. CO-ownership (which eventually went sour), one horse and boarding.. then two… and finally, almost three years ago, the horses came home to live with us, on the ‘nanofarm’. My husband puts up with the expenses without complaint — because he sees the daily pleasure I get from the horses. I ride and work with them a lot; if they were pasture ornaments, there would be resentment.
Every day, the Carrot Guy goes out to give tidbits to my horses and our three Airedales… he loves to observe their behavior and interactions, though he has no interest in riding. He helps with feeding and chores when I need for him to.
It was music to my ears, the first time he called them ‘our’ horses….
Anybody want a nice, colorful Friesian Sport Horse… like this one?
These folks seem to have ads ALL OVER Craigslist and a lot of yahoo horsey-lists…. they say all must go before winter. Just goes to show — a Friesian does not necessarily pass on all Friesian characteristics other than color….
Apparently these folks’ specialty is colorful warmbloods… well, they make me want to say colorful things, that’s for sure!
http://s10.photobucket.com/albums/a125/Sweetfiddler/Colorful%20Warmbloods/
I’m relieved it seems like there are more accounts of how things ended up working out! My horse actually found my boyfriend for me so I think it will all be ok! And I never have to explain why I’d rather have a new headstall or reins than a facial or jewelry!
My SO had always liked horses but other than the occasional holiday trail ride, hadn’t been around horses. But when we decided to start rescuing a few at a time, he jumped in with both feet. He took riding lessons, learned about different feeds, learned how to groom and pick feet. When we had our trainer start working with our 3 yr old, he watched, listened and actively particpated when asked to by the trainer.
) Whenever I would explain something to him, he would listen but not follow through. But when the horse trainer or lesson coach, said what I had already told him, it was followed to the T! It was always very close to what I had said…. men! The one thing we do agree on is our love of animals. He can find something nice to say about even the most homely of horses, which I find very endearing.
BUT, he refuses to learn from me! I decide what the horses eat and how much, when teeth need floating and hoofs need trimming, vaccinating, deworming etc. We decided early on that I knew more about horses than he does (he said it…and it is true!
He helps with, or often does the grooming when my back is too sore (herniated disc). He also really enjoys working the horses. he doesn’t give treats, I do, he doesn’t hand graze, I do… but all in all, we rarely argue and while I am off with my back injury, he has taken a second job to top off my benefits so the horses or cats (or us) don’t go without. he is pretty close to perfect in my eyes. I don’t care where his knowledge comes from, I care that he is willing to learn and keep on learning about the world of horses. He has fallen in love with the horse faster than I would have thought. He loves the drafts!
I love myponyskeeper’s attitude! That’s the best — let him think he can ride, but it never actually happens, and everyone’s happy. There are so many good stories on this thread, thanks for sharing. I wish my son were more interested, he does horse stuff sometimes but for the most part could care less. On the other hand, I have saved thousands not buying him show horses and tack!
Anyone hide horses from their significant others that aren’t horsey? I hear tales all the time about women who do that (“he won’t notice there’s another horse in the field”, “I haven’t told him I took that rescue stallion”) but I find that usually backfires when said horse gets a huge vet bill or something else happens. I personally think it’s a bad idea to keep secrets about anything, but it might work for some gals. I couldn’t get away with it since I pay board and it would be pretty obvious if I added another few hundred dollars to the monthly bill.
>>i guess he had ridden a fair amount when younger, and yes, he had ridden the big slow, plodding quarter horse stallion they owned. but that didn’t prep hm for my daughter’s little 14.2 morgan mare! at 22 years young, she was retired from reining, but so hot, hot, hot and didn’t put up with any crap from a rider. signals to her better mean what you want cause she would react! he was forwarned, and went around the round pen a couple of times before he got a little too comfy and careless. she gave a little twist and tiny (seriously, rear hooves maybe 3 inches off the ground) buck and our fellow was suddenly sitting in the sand. none of us showed any manners and laughed loud and hard. he mumbled excuses but we ribbed him with no mercy about beng tossed from an old mare and how he had better stick to quieter horses, you know, like big, black stallions. daughter hopped on the old lady and showed him how to ride, but he never got on any of our little morgans again. kinda hated to see that one go, the dumb ones are so much fun.< <
Hilarious! I can see your old mare laughing at him.
Drsgjunky, that’s sad what you said about how they don’t ever hand graze their horses or anything. I just think some people really miss out on the whole experience…it’s just a piece of sports equipment to them.
Comments are being deleted? The one I left yesterday is gone. So is the one left by the person I quoted. :/
Good grief. Magnum Psyche gelding for $200?
http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/csw/grd/1440505873.html
Not exactly MP’s shining hour, but still…
No, I have not deleted any comments except a spam from a piano company.
Your comment might not have gone through in the first place.
stormygirl- I understand where your husband is coming from!! I’m a relatively new rider, but my b/f has ridden his whole life and their family owns a ranch. He knows I want to take lessons & I’ve taken a few with their trainer but I gave it up because b/f would be watching on the side giving his 2 cents as well. Had to tell him I don’t want to hear it from him – Think its like having your dad in the car when you learn how to drive. Its too personal maybe?
About that Magnum gelding in Minneapolis. I saw him when he was a foal and also now. He is a great little horse…He is very sweet and quick learning. I don’t own him…I wanted to buy him but can’t stretch the budget to get another horse right now with buying the rest of the hay for winter. She is going to send him to an auction grade if he doesn’t sell though so I thought I would pop in so maybe someone wants him!
Cathy,
I would like to do something about that Arab gelding … I live in Central Illinois tho, so it would be long distance … I could certainly get $200 together to buy him — but after that I am not sure what I could do. Could I get in touch with Araballi, maybe? I don’t know if it would work out, but I feel bad a nice horse like that is going to a sale on Saturday. Hopefully someone already got him that’s closer.
horsefever says:
“Anyone hide horses from their significant others that aren’t horsey? I hear tales all the time about women who do that (”he won’t notice there’s another horse in the field”, “I haven’t told him I took that rescue stallion”) but I find that usually backfires when said horse gets a huge vet bill or something else happens. I personally think it’s a bad idea to keep secrets about anything, but it might work for some gals.”
I would/could never EVER do that. I’m always kind of mind boggled when someone says that they have. First of all I would NEVER break my husband’s trust like that and second of all he would darn well notice a new face in my pasture.
Plus, I can never keep myself from yammering on and on and on about any new critter i end up with.
So my significant other isnt exactly into riding horses and owning one. He is very outdoorsy, loves to fish and hunt, and he really does adore my horse (just not interested in learning how to ride or anything). The other thing that we “bicker” over is when I discipline my 5 year old gelding for things like “DONT nip at me” “get OUT of my space” etc. My sig other always has a reply when I promptly punch or wack my horse’s face when he put it where it shouldnt be. My sig other says “stop being so MEAN to him!” lol. So I say “fine you lead him to the arena and keep him out of your space” and watching him try and do it is the funny part cause my gelding has no respect for him and just believes hes the giver of cookies. LOL
horsefever – If you want that gelding, email me at abreun@live.com – he is welcome to stay here until you came get him or worked something out. I don’t want him to end up in a sale either. He is only about 2 hours from me so I could pick him up too. Hopefully you see this!
When I was in college, I started dating a guy that claimed to be a roper. When I met him he told me all about this great horse he had that could do anything. Well, when it came time for me to go to his house where this horse presumably was, a friend of his was borrowing it. Then, he gave the horse to him, cuz his friend’s horse died. He also happened to have 17 trophy saddles that were “in storage” somewhere.
Now, I will say, I did believe him at first because he came to my house where we have a roping dummy. Now, we aren’t ropers by any means, but we do like to play with it when we aren’t riding. But he looked pretty good when roping the dummy. But what would I know, right? I’ve only known a few ropers.
He also claimed to have ridden bulls, and said that he was a very good bull rider. So good, in fact, that he had never fallen off a bull in all his years of bull riding. This I did not believe for a second. But it’s kind of funny that he thought I would.
So, needless to say, it didn’t last long with him. People like that can be dangerous around horses. I dated him for maybe a month, until I met my fiance now. He wasn’t exactly horsey when I met him either. But he did have a passion for learning about them, he just never had the opportunity to learn until now.
I’m sorry I’m late to the read this
I will say I’m VERY fortunate…my husband grew up with a grandfather and mom who loved horses and had them when he was very young. He does not have the same level of exposure and experience that I did when we met, but he got lots of brownie points when, on our first “date”, he made a road trip to another state to pick up my ‘had him forever’ gelding. He happily held lead ropes, petted horses, and never once said “Eww! Where can I wash my hands?” and thought the whole thing was great. Since then (3 years ago) he has acquired his own very loved horse and takes the time to LEARN. He’s actually quiet good with the horses and we have similar beliefs as far as acceptable behavior, etc. He’s willing to read, ask me what to do and take lessons from someone experienced in his desired discipline. He feeds, cleans, picks up hay/feed, etc without too much squawking and only occasionally reminds me that if we didn’t have horses we could afford – well, everything else.
BTW – my EX husband actually did NOT notice a new horse I brought home. They all looked alike to him, he didn’t really have anything to do with them and apparently only occasionally counted them. There is a reason he’s my EX!